Archive | Drabble RSS feed for this section

Updates, Novel-Writing and Nerdery

22 Oct

Another instance of blog neglect for me – a month and a half since my last post! D: .

I’d be more apologetic, but I’ll be honest with you reader-folk, work ate me. My job rocks, but every now and then a couple of hell weeks pop up and I get completely devoured. The last two weeks of September were deadline central, so I barely had the energy to get comics drawn, let alone blog. I even neglected my Minecraft playing, and that’s when you know things are going to hell in a handbasket.

I am still alive though, somehow, since that last week of deadline-chasing gave me the stress cold from hell, which turned into the sinus infection from hell because I’m an idiot and decided I was too busy to go to the doctor. I did finally make it, and I’m just finishing up a ten day cycle of antibiotics that have made me feel much, much less like death, which I am grateful for.

As well as working for the last one and a half months, I went on vacation briefly, as I detail at my other blog, since it was a very geeky vacation. I returned home with a bag 20 pounds heavier due to all the books I bought. Because that’s just how I roll.

So now it’s October. My birthday is in just over a week, and I turn 24. Not sure if I’m ready for that, but time stops for no one, so I plan on just accepting it and using the day as a good excuse to go out for sushi.

I’m still mostly a hermit. Last night we had a Rapture party, since apparently the world was supposed to end. We watched Red State and Dogma and ate soup. That’s about as social as I’ve been.

I’m also still drawing comics. My comic is still updating 3 times a week. It’s almost November, so I’m gearing up for NaNoWriMo 2011. I admit though, I’ve gone for Novel Rebellion this year because I couldn’t wait a month to start the book, so I’m most likely going to be writing a series for the rest of the year. My book, Undertaker, has turned into a series of at least six titled The Undertaker Chronicles, and the first book, Necromancer, is in process. I expect to complete that book in November, and continue on to book two, Collector, after that first 70-80k. Did I mention I’m going for 100k this year? I’m tired of not getting shit done, and this seems like the time to do it. Thus, November will be a writing frenzy, and I’ll most likely be on here blogging about it, since I’m tired of not blogging. I miss it. It’s fun, I get to ramble about silliness and vent about my days. At least partially – this is a public blog, and my coworkers live on the internet, so don’t expect work stories. Things are getting better at the workplace though, so part of that is I won’t have much to complain about.

Expect a writing-related blog post later this weekend, a little less vague than this one. I want to use this blog for my NaNo progress this year. Geek-related posts will be over at Not Your Gamer Girlfriend. Wordcounts and story progress will be here.

So, and I’m holding myself to it now, more blogging for the rest of 2011. Hope you still stick around to read 🙂

 

Advertisements

News from a Micro-World

6 Sep

Another Tuesday. Jeff found out that he’s gainfully employed once more today, at my current place of work no less, so I took him out for too much sushi and a walk around Barnes and Noble. We’re both very full now and getting ready to watch some Castle, though I’m also webbing and he’s turning the air blue trying to figure out what the hell trying to make Dead Island work has done to his graphics card. Kettle’s on, waiting for a boil and some tea. So far a hot cup of tea is the closest thing I have to a cure for insomnia.

When we were at the bookstore I saw that they’ve started making statues of Stainboy, and they’re selling them along with statues of Oyster Boy for Tim Burton’s new book, The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy. I may go back. I’ve always loved Stainboy. Because I’m a closet goth and Burton hipster who used to watch the Stainboy cartoons before anyone knew what they were.

This show, Castle, it’s really good except occasionally the songs they play before the intro and the end credits are so awful it makes me want to die a little.

I’m actually not doing that all right. Sad to say. Not to go into it here, but life’s definitely throwing a few emotional curve balls my way. I’m surviving, but the early mornings, long hours and high stress situations aren’t helping. It could be worse, it could always be worse, but that’s small comfort when I’m feeling stuck. Very stuck. No way to turn in my box. it’s a spacious box, and it’s fairly comfortable, but it’s still locked. Still a prison.

/melodrama.

Still posting comics. Still happy with how the art is progressing and the story’s unfoldings. Those have minimal chance of stopping soon, so that’s another good thing.

Sunday night Jeff and I couldn’t figure out what to do while we hung out, having just marathoned TV shows and gone to a cookout at my folk’s house, so we decided to start a comic project together. More on that later, we’re still in the conceptual planning stage.

And I’ve decided my previously determined upcoming NaNoWriMo 2011 novel, Undertaker, is going to happen earlier than predicted. The characters won’t let their little hooks out of my brainstem. More on that later too. If I can get it done before November, as well as going insane I’ll have another novel ready to go.

My life is a juggling game of creative projects. I do prefer it that way.

Other than that nothing to report. My brain is still damaged and I’m spontaneously bursting into tears for no good reason. I’m also not eating much. Working on it though. Jeff helps. it’s what he does. That and fix his computer. Dead Island is running again. And get jobs. Good jobs. I’m proud of him, and looking forward to seeing him around the office. It may be a little weird that we work in the same place, but we’ll be doing different things and both stupid busy to boot. So it’ll work out. I rather think it’ll be great.

I’ve been watching the new season of Doctor Who with my friend Beta. It’s awesome, but Matt Smith’s head still looks like a potato.

That’s all for now. Hope you all have survivable weeks with swiftly impending weekends.

 

I’m not dead

15 May

Not yet anyway. But for all the life of this blog, I might as well be decomposing underground somewhere. Sad fact is, gainful employment is something of a time steal, and I received the opportunity for three weeks of overtime, which I worked, then collapsed into exhaustion.

Did I mention I also moved during that three week overtime period? Also, that I had the cold from hell?

It never rains…

So that’s what I’ve been up to real-life wise. Verk, overtime verk, lots of typing (and money in my bank account), moving out of my apartment and temporarily in with my boyfriend until we get our own place in July (I can’t wait. No seriously) and trying not to go completely insane.

Non-real life wise, I acquired and played through Portal 2, and am currently on my second playthrough, because I missed a few easter eggs and it was awesome enough that it definitely warranted another round of play. I’m still minecracking, still watching strange movies on Netflix and random TV shows on Hulu Plus (which is worth the monthly fee for me).

I’ve also finally find the time to get work done on my creative projects! For the last couple of weeks I’ve been writing and drawing a new comic, that I hope to post sometime in the near future. I’ll keep you posted.

As well as this I have two novels and a short story bouncing around in my head, so fear not, creative derp is occuring in my headmeats! My body has given up but my brain liveth on! Huzzah!

So that’s the basic update. I vow to try and make these updates a wee bit more regular. And a bit more interesting.

Time to go to bed now. I’m all tuckered out from existing.

This Song Has Been Stuck in My Head Since I Heard It

10 Apr

Lyrics:

There was that whole weird thing with the horses
I think they know exactly what happened
I don't think it needs any explaining
I'm pretty sure I wasn't your first choice
I think I was the last one remaining
I wish we hadn't gone and destroyed it
Cause I was thinking we could pull another weekender
You've still got a bit of clairvoyance

I remember the metal bar
I remember the reservoir
You could say our paths had crossed before

So if it has to be a secret
Then I guess that I can deal with it
you and i both know it's a negative thing
In the end only the girls know the whole truth

There were a couple pretty crass propositions
There were some bugs in the bars
There was a kid camped out by the coat check
She said the theme of this party's the industrial age
And you came in dressed like a train wreck

I remember the O.T.B
The five-second delivery
You could say our paths have crossed before

So if it has to be a secret
Then I guess that i can deal with it
God only knows it's not always a positive thing
To see a few seconds into the future

And if you swear to keep it decent
Then yeah I'll come and see you
but it's not gonna be like in romantic comedies
In the end I bet no one learns a lesson

guitar solo

So if it has to be a secret
Then I guess that I can deal with it
you and i both know it's a negative thing
In the end only the girls know the whole truth

And if you swear to keep it decent
Then yeah I'll come and see you
but it's not gonna be like in romantic comedies
In the end I bet no one learns a lesson

In the end only the girls know the whole truth
In the end I bet no one learns a lesson

 

Self-Deprecation Seems Okay: Mini-Essay

5 Apr

You can’t live right if you hate your life.

I’m serious. If you hate your life, what you do with your days isn’t living, it’s an uncomfortable imitation. We sit and we stare at the world passing us by, converting oxygen into CO2 and food into feces. Breathing and shitting isn’t the only purpose to our existence, but sometimes it might as well be.

It might as well be because we hate who we are, hate who we see in the mirror every day even if we try to paint our faces and pin the corners of our mouths into smiles. Self-loathing is the new status quo ladies and germs, and its so cliché it’s accepted and expected.

I don’t live right most of the time. Most days I wake up hungover and feeling like last night was a mistake I won’t live down. I feel hungover even when I spent the night before sober, my mind a mess from the dreams of the night before, from the toils of existing. My working day is a haze of computer screens and fingers on keyboards, my nights mostly solitary, also mostly in front of screens. My computer is less an accessory and more an appendage, my gateway to an outside world I try to avoid even on my good days.

I make elaborate plans for self-improvement involving work-out schedules and the proper intake of sustenance, but find myself sitting on my ass three days later surrounded by empty bags of chips that smell of fake cheese and somewhat of shame.

Shame smells like cheese in a can. It smells like snack cakes and delivery pizza. Once or twice a week I scrub off my shame with a home-cooked meal, pasta or a grilled cheese, because I’m too poor to afford shame 24-7. I spend my money on long nights and poor decisions, on videogames and liquor, on cake mix and frosting, on the gas I need to run my car, on groceries that I select in the store carefully, trying desperately to do math in my head despite suffering from discalcula because what loser carries a calculator in a grocery store to make sure they only spend ten dollars on food to last a week?

Self-deprecation comes to us as naturally as breathing. It’s ingrained in us from the beginning and holds on with sharp and sticky fingers. It’s like a little monkey, a gremlin, some mutant creature clutching our back and whispering hateful thoughts into our receptive ears.

I hate myself most of the time. I wake up and stumble into the bathroom, staring at my hair that never sits right and my ass that isn’t perky enough and my tits that refuse to stay the same size as each other and the same shirt I’ve worn to bed since high school and I glare at my blurry reflection and tell it I hate it and wish it would just go fucking die already so I could stop dealing with it and everything it represents. It represents the degree I got that wasn’t worth anything. The half-dozen half-baked novels sitting on the hard-drive of my computer, all of them mediocre when read despite hours, days, weeks, months of hard work. The job I go to with the hope of advancement even though I’m only working part time at a job a monkey could do better. The friends who clearly don’t know me well enough or they would have run for the hills by now. The boyfriend I feel I don’t deserve no matter how many times he tells me I’m wrong.

When I was a kid I hated myself so much I was violent. I didn’t start fights or ram my head against walls, but that would have been less stereotypical. Less cliché.

Maybe that’s part of being a writer. Being a bit of a cliché. At least I’ve quit the cigarettes, even if the alcohol shows no sign of stopping.

We keep trucking though. We’re human, and we know we aren’t perfect no matter how many people try to put us on pedestals with their words and expectations. No matter how much we hate ourselves for our lack of perfection.

I’m occasionally guilty of loving myself. Of being okay with my out of shape body and never sits right hair, of liking my wonky tits and the shirts I’ve had since high school that I still wear for the memories. Of sitting down at my computer desk and typing up a novel that I want to write because even if it sucks, it’s a story I have to tell. Sometimes I think about how hard I worked to get through my BA, how far I’ve come since high school and the sad, broken girl lying on the floor of her bathroom, not caring if she gets blood on the tiles because then at least she’s feeling something. I feel lucky that I work in a basement with a dozen other nerds who type at inhuman speeds, that I can read at the speed of light and make ten bucks an hour part time practically right out of college. Lucky that I have people in my life who love to watch funny movies and mix strange drinks and make really bad penis jokes. That I have a boyfriend who loves me no matter how down I get on myself.

Maybe I’m mediocre. Maybe I’ve fucked up in too many ways to count. Maybe I’m just a hack.

But hating myself for it is no way to live my life. It isn’t living.

So, sometimes, if I try really hard and nobody else is around to see, I love my life. And in doing so, just for a little while, I really live.

 

 

The Spark of Insanity

16 Mar

I spent an hour at work today typing up heights and weights of various people on medical surveys.

That stereotype about Americans being overweight? As far as I can see, not a stereotype. Do you want to know how many people’s data I typed up that listed them as under five feet and over 200 pounds?

Answer: You don’t want to know. It will just depress you.

Related note: If you ever have to fill out a survey for a hospital, please write in block capitals as clearly as you can. Deciphering other people’s handwriting is the cause of more headaches in my life than I can count these days.

Weekend Update

26 Feb

So it’s the weekend. I don’t start my new job until next Friday, which is kinda awesome but also kind of a bummer since I’ve now got a week stretching ahead of me with a whole lot of not much floating around in it. I’ve got Pokemon to play (and blog about, since it’s apparently a really popular subject – my pokemon post got a lot of hits today and I wrote it almost a week ago), Ugly Betty to watch and friends to hang out with. That and today I started writing a new novel on a complete whim and I’m now almost 6000 words in, which is great progress for me, especially considering I haven’t exactly been writing a lot in the last few months.

I’m debating what to go with for dinner tonight. The urge to order delicious pizza has never been more tempting, but we have a house full of food, so pizza would be silly. We also have beer, so I’m going to enjoy another one of those and probably whip up some pasta or something equally delicious. For I have been writing for the last three hours, and that makes me hungry.

So, off I go to hunt for food. I’m still not drinking soda, and it’s still going surprisingly well. Green tea is what’s doing it for me, I swear it. That stuff is incredible for preventing the caffeine headaches.

Hope everyone’s having an enjoyable weekend. That’s all from me.

Dailypost Writer’s Block: Sleep

25 Feb

Question 1: What keeps you up at night?

Answer: Everything. I have Anxiety Disorder, so sleep is difficult to find on a regular basis.

Bonus Question: What helps you forget about what keeps you up at night?

Answer: Melatonin. It’s heavenly sleep in a bottle. Also cuddles. But those are good in any situation.

Coveting

23 Feb

So, because writing these things down will keep me sane, here’s a list of things I want to do when I have money:

1) Join a yoga class. Or a gym or something. Yoga sounds appealing because I think it’ll help me with all the spiritual turmoil as well as the miserable out-of-shapedness business I’m dealing with. Seriously. I shouldn’t feel the burn just for walking three and a half miles at a slight incline. That or I want to start swimming again, which means buying fancy shampoo so my hair doesn’t turn green.

2) Join a local co-op. Sounds like crazy hippie talk, but I want to shop, eat, and live more local and more healthily, and besides, the nearest local co-op is crazy awesome and totally sweet. Their deli has the best pasta salad I’ve ever had ever in my life.

3) Follow up from 2 is to eat more healthy, local foods, and keep up this crazy no soda diet I’m dealing with. If I eat more healthy, I’ll just feel better in general. So that’d include buying from the co-op, and occasionally venturing across town to Trader Joe’s, which is the best source of healthy junk food I’ve ever found.

4) Save up to get a sweet-ass apartment with Jeff in August. And by sweet-ass I mean this one place that has two bedrooms AND a spiral staircase.

5) Save up more to decorate said sweet-ass apartment with awesome kitchen appliances, wall hangings, furnishings, posters and so on.  So it’ll actually feel like home and not just a temporary fixture like most places I’ve lived.

6) Travel. As well as needing to check out law schools in other states, I miss my sister and I want to visit her in England before she comes back.

7) Get more tattoos. I love my first one, and I got it about a year ago. I could definitely enjoy having a few more. I’m thinking I’ll get my Star Wars tattoos next. Because I am a geek.

8) Buy a new wardrobe. In particular some skirts, sweatpants, other random things. I’m tired of looking at myself in the mirror and going ‘ugh, my clothes look all weird today’. That and I have a weakness for long flowing skirts.

9) Pay my parents back for all the money they’ve been helping me out with in the last couple of months. Unemployment would be a lot more miserable without their help and love. My parents truly rock.

10) Buy more bookshelves. If you could see the overflow problem I have in my room, you’d understand the reasoning. That and Jeff and I are going to end up combining book collections when we get a place, and that means more bookshelves! Preferably of the floor-to-ceiling variety. One of the reasons I’m reluctant to move out of state is that it means leaving my book collection behind, at least for a while. This would sadden me immensely.

11) Get sushi once a week. Because few things in life make me happier. Delicious food that doesn’t make my stomach panic and curl up in fear? That’s a big ‘yes please’. Even just the vegetable kind makes my life better.

12) Videogames. I’m budgeting my meager unemployment moneys to buy Pokemon Black on the 6th of March, but I’d like to have some others too. Jeff has a lot of them, but I’d love to have at least a few of my own to squee over and suffer addiction from.

I’m sure I covet plenty of other random things. This is a small portion of my materialistic madness.

Challenging

22 Feb

I’ve decided to give up drinking soda for a month.

Due to my horrific caffeine addiction, this is going to be rather complicating in my life. So give me a couple days.

It’s part of my 30 day challenge, something Jeff and I are doing. I’m going to blog about it here (don’t worry, your friendly neighborhood madness that is the Uncomfort Zone will continue to update on a regular basis, it’s just giving me somewhere to chatter about the challenges that isn’t here, because you’ll get sick of me whining about caffeine and talking about food and exercise within days).

 

So wish me luck. Tomorrow I’ll find something more interesting to chat about tomorrow folks, I promise. 🙂